I’ve been in a box for most of the year And all of my time was free But yesterday they took me out To put me on the bloomin’ Christmas tree. Now I’m high up off the floor And suffering with vertigo. Why must I stand up here for weeks? It’s so bloomin’ boring, don’t they know? The tinsel never says a word And the baubles are silent too. The twinkly lights are giving me a headache. But what’s a fairy like me to do? I’m supposed to stand still and look beautiful, Full of cheer and look cute and pert But it’s bloomin’ hard to be looking happy With needles poking up my skirt. I’ve tried to strike up conversations With the fluffy bloomin’ family cat, But all she wants to talk about is Does her winter-coat make her look fat! The children sometimes talk to me, The little girl always asks how I am But the little boy caught me by surprise the other day When he smeared my bloomin’ dress with jam. Soon the little girl tells me it’s Christmas Eve And that there’ll be a visitor tonight. She says I should look out for a fella dressed in red As she doesn’t want me to have a fright. I think she’s gone and forgotton That I see Santa every bloomin’ year. He always arrives as if by magic And leaves presents for the children, right here. Much later when everyone’s in bed, I hear unfamiliar footsteps in the house. The cat goes off to investigate, I think she imagines it’s a bloomin’ big mouse. “Hello Fairy!” I hear a voice say, In a whisper right next to my ear. “Hello Santa,” I say back to him “Are you already bloomin’ here?” “What’s up?” asks Santa, “Why so sad? It’s Christmas don’t you know?” “I’m bloomin’ bored,” I say to him, “I’m just not feeling the Ho-Ho-Ho…” “You deserve a Christmas treat,” Santa said to me this night. “You should get to use your fairy wings, For a lovely festive flight!” So he sprinkled magic dust on me And I flew all around the place! The cat looked on with delighted surprise Like I was a bloomin’ toy for her to chase. But Santa let me out of the door And I flew to visit my next-door chum. We’d not seen each other since our shop-shelf days! So we chatted ‘til morning had come. “I’d better get back home,” I said When this special night had come to an end. “I hope we can get together again soon. Happy Christmas, my best bloomin’ friend!” By the time I got back to the house, Santa had long since departed. The children would be getting up soon and Christmas day would be properly started. Just moments later, the little girl came in And wished me a merry day. Then the little boy arrived with Mum, “Santa’s left presents!” I heard her say. Later on, the little girl noticed That my wings were especially bright, Santa’s magic had not worn off yet and So maybe I can have one more flight. My little family had a wonderful day! Mum cooked a bloomin’ special lunch, The children loved their presents and The cat got tasty titbits to munch. But really, the best thing about Christmas, Is being with loved ones, like my fairy chum. It makes standing on a Christmas tree worthwhile Even with bloomin’ needles poking my bum. Happy Christmas! The End.
Illustration by my daughter Izzy Cakey. Photo taken by Mel Cakey.