The Trials and Tribulations of being the Bloomin’ Christmas Tree Fairy.

I’ve been in a box for most of the year
And all of my time was free
But yesterday they took me out
To put me on the bloomin’ Christmas tree.
Now I’m high up off the floor
And suffering with vertigo.
Why must I stand up here for weeks?
It’s so bloomin’ boring, don’t they know?
The tinsel never says a word
And the baubles are silent too.
The twinkly lights are giving me a headache.
But what’s a fairy like me to do?
I’m supposed to stand still and look beautiful,
Full of cheer and look cute and pert
But it’s bloomin’ hard to be looking happy
With needles poking up my skirt.
I’ve tried to strike up conversations
With the fluffy bloomin’ family cat,
But all she wants to talk about is 
Does her winter-coat make her look fat!
The children sometimes talk to me,
The little girl always asks how I am
But the little boy caught me by surprise the other day
When he smeared my bloomin’ dress with jam.
Soon the little girl tells me it’s Christmas Eve
And that there’ll be a visitor tonight.
She says I should look out for a fella dressed in red
As she doesn’t want me to have a fright.
I think she’s gone and forgotton
That I see Santa every bloomin’ year.
He always arrives as if by magic
And leaves presents for the children, right here.
Much later when everyone’s in bed,
I hear unfamiliar footsteps in the house.
The cat goes off to investigate,
I think she imagines it’s a bloomin’ big mouse.
“Hello Fairy!” I hear a voice say,
In a whisper right next to my ear.
“Hello Santa,” I say back to him
“Are you already bloomin’ here?”
“What’s up?” asks Santa, “Why so sad?
It’s Christmas don’t you know?”
“I’m bloomin’ bored,” I say to him,
“I’m just not feeling the Ho-Ho-Ho…”
“You deserve a Christmas treat,”
Santa said to me this night.
“You should get to use your fairy wings,
For a lovely festive flight!”
So he sprinkled magic dust on me
And I flew all around the place!
The cat looked on with delighted surprise
Like I was a bloomin’ toy for her to chase.
But Santa let me out of the door
And I flew to visit my next-door chum.
We’d not seen each other since our shop-shelf days!
So we chatted ‘til morning had come.
“I’d better get back home,” I said
When this special night had come to an end.
“I hope we can get together again soon.
Happy Christmas, my best bloomin’ friend!”
By the time I got back to the house,
Santa had long since departed.
The children would be getting up soon and
Christmas day would be properly started.
Just moments later, the little girl came in
And wished me a merry day.
Then the little boy arrived with Mum,
“Santa’s left presents!” I heard her say.
Later on, the little girl noticed
That my wings were especially bright,
Santa’s magic had not worn off yet and
So maybe I can have one more flight.
My little family had a wonderful day!
Mum cooked a bloomin’ special lunch,
The children loved their presents and
The cat got tasty titbits to munch.
But really, the best thing about Christmas,
Is being with loved ones, like my fairy chum.
It makes standing on a Christmas tree worthwhile
Even with bloomin’ needles poking my bum.
Happy Christmas!
The End.