[[File:Second verse of The Twelve Days of Christmas.png|Second_verse_of_The_Twelve_Days_of_Christmas]]

(sung to The Twelve Days of Christmas)

On the first day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
Boris Johnson stuck up a tree

On the second day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
Murdoch gets a shove
And Boris Johnson stuck up a tree

On the third day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
Tories in the Thames
Rupert gets a shove
And Boris Johnson stuck up a tree

On the fourth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
Lords flushed like curds
Tories in the Thames
Rupert gets a shove
And Boris Johnson stuck up a tree

On the fifth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
Rees! Mogg! Mings!
Not really curds
Tories in the Thames
Rupert gets a shove
And Boris Johnson stuck up a tree

On the sixth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
Donors, tax a-paying
Rees! Mogg! Mings!
Lords flushed like curds
Tories in the Thames
Rupert gets a shove
And Boris Johnson stuck up a tree

On the seventh day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
Gove’s head a-swimming
Donors, tax a-paying
Rees! Mogg! Mings!
It’s a play on words
Tories in the Thames
Rupert gets a shove
And Boris Johnson stuck up a tree

On the eighth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
Communities rebuilding
Gove’s head a-swimming
Donors, tax a-paying
Rees! Mogg! Mings!
Lords flushed like curds
Tories in the Thames
Rupert gets a shove
And Boris Johnson stuck up a tree

On the ninth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
Socialists advancing
Communities rebuilding
Gove’s head a-swimming
Through the nose, they’re paying
Rees! Mogg! Mings!
I know it isn’t curds
Tories in the Thames
Rupert gets a shove
And Boris Johnson stuck up a tree

On the tenth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
Conservatives a-weeping
Socialists advancing
Communities rebuilding
Gove’s head a-swimming
Donors, tax a-paying
Rees! Mogg! Mings!
Censorship’s absurd
Tories in the Thames
Rupert gets a shove
And Boris Johnson stuck up a tree

On the 11th day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
Media pundits griping
Conservatives a-weeping
Socialists advancing
Communities rebuilding
Gove’s head a-swimming
Donors, tax a-paying
Rees! Mogg! Mings!
Flushed like lemon curds
Tories in the Thames
Rupert gets a shove
And Boris Johnson stuck up a tree

On the 12th day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
Starmer’s karma coming
Media pundits griping
Conservatives a-weeping
Socialists advancing
Communities rebuilding
Gove’s head a-swimming
Boy, are they paying
Rees! Mogg! Mings!
That word that rhymes with curds
Tories in the Thames
Rupert gets a shove
And Boris Johnson stuck up a tree …

And Boris Johnson stuck up a tree!


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